We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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