i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
