I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
