he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
