Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
