Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You ruined the universe
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
