I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
