just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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