someone owes me an orgasm
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
