so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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