you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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