Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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