its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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