Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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