I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
