the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
smell my finger.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
