Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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