I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
