Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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