I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
