Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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