I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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