Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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