i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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