bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
