apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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