I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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