How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
