i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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