i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
