The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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