I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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