Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
