I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He has the fingertips of a God
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