real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
