This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
