the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
