So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Hello my rib-scented angel!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
