He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
