Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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