Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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