I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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