She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
