i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
