i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
