Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
