Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
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