are you still at the devil's house?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
