I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
