I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
