I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Alive.
So much puke
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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